The Texas Mama

ME:   Hali, let’s pull off that diaper and put on BIG GIRL PANTIES!!!

HALI:   BIG GURL PANEEES!

ME:   Yes- Big Girl DORA Panties!!! YAY! You can be A Big Girl!

HALI:   Which one?

ME: Let’s put these on! (holds out pair of purple Dora panties)

HALI:   Watch movie?!

ME:   Yes, baby, go back and watch your movie now

….. a couple minutes later in the living room

ME: Hali, LOOK!  Here’s your POTTY CHAIR!  Can you SIT on your POTTY CHAIR and try and go PEE-PEE or POO-       POO?!?!?!

HALI: (silence as she sits)

ME: YAY!!! Go pee-pee or poo-poo so we can eat candy and pizza and have a party and call Dad and Grandma and tell them what a BIG GIRL you are by going on your potty chair!!!! Yay!  It’ll be sooo much FUN!

HALI:  candy?

ME:  Yes! You can have candy if you go pee-pee or poo-poo on your potty chair!

HALI:   Sits back down on potty chair

……………two minutes later

ME:   Hali, sit back down and try to go pee-pee or poo-poo please!

……………two minutes later

ME:   Hali, here, let me get you some more YUMMY juice! (mutters to self “so your bladder gets so freaking full you HAVE to pee…”)

…………..one minute later

ME:   Here you go baby- drink up!

HALI:   thank you, mama

ME:   Sit down on your potty chair please, Hali

…………five minutes later

ME:   Sit down on your potty chair, please

……….five minutes later

ME:   Hali, please sit down on your potty chair!

………three minutes later

ME:   Hali, come sit on your potty chair- I don’t want you to go pee-pee on the couch

………three minutes later

ME: Hali, you really have to sit on your potty chair!  Should I turn the movie off?  Hali, COME SIT ON YOUR POTTY CHAIR!!!  *SIGH* (thinks to self: what now?)