The Texas Mama

   If my husband was allowed to sell me, I believe that would be what the sign around my neck would say.  In small print it would say something like: young, keeps a tidy house, pretty decent cook, tiger in the sack (TMI, I know), lots of wear and tear, now available in a larger size, occasional tendency to complain, will throw in toddler as a bonus.

   That said, I attempted some do it yourself work last night on This Old House:

   I trimmed, filed, buffed, removed old peeling half gone polish, and repainted (even Hali’s ‘lil pigs got a new pink coat).  My finger nails just never stay nice  and smooth and even; I use them as spot removers too often- you know, where you use them to get that gunk off the counter instead of getting out a rag?  My toe nails have been getting more attention as of late, because now that I am back in Texas, I wear flip-flops all year long.  So I try to keep them decent.  I don’t think that I painted my toes more than 2 times in Idaho.  I was there for almost 8 months.  It’s not quite as bad as it seems, though.  I was there for mostly fall and winter.  Toe bearing shoes are not recommended during these seasons.  I stuck to my wonderful ugs (I will be wearing them way after they go out of style, thank you very much) and tennis shoes mainly.  But enough about my feet.

   I should mention the waxing and plucking of the jungle on my face I like to call eyebrows (which have a unibrow tendency) that also went on last night.  I find waxing oddly satisfying.  

   I topped off the night with some serious renovation.  The toe nails were all shiny and pretty.  But the soles of my feet and my heels were a sight to behold.  So I unearthed my pumice stone and my protective goggles and went to town.  I’m thinking of getting hubby a belt sander so I can use it on my feet so he can use it on his project cars for father’s day.  I am a real redneck woman and can walk across burning hot coals (also known as a gravel or blacktop street in Texas) without any shoes on. 

   I hosed down.  From within the shower the exfoliating and scrubbing began.  As soon as I dried off, I was slathering on lotion, just positive that I was about to see the fruits of my labor.  I looked in the mirror, and alas- I was not glowing.  I cannot tell you how disappointed I was.  I had wonderfully shaped eyebrows (I was able to have better control this time- last time I went overboard and was ashamed to be seen in public), cute pink toes, but no fresh, glowing, dewy skin.  Maybe I have to eat more than a serving of veggies a day after all.  Drinking more than green tea may help too.

   Tonight, I may even shave my legs!  Watch out the S.S. Hygiene, here I come!